My favourite thing about working out on a cold winters morning is the way you can see the steam rising off everyone at the end of the WOD. There is something both ethereal and tough about it, reminiscent of an epic movie scene where warriors have fought and won against an undefeatable foe. That feeling of oneness and community the warriors feel after passing through an insurmountable challenge by each others sides is not unlike the feeling of comraderie and mutual bonding that comes when working out with the others in our box. There is an emotional bond formed when we push to our limits side by side. I have experienced this and seen it in others, the way being brought to your physical limits makes us vulnerable, brings out our inner self, our self beliefs, our fears. We share something personal and intimate with the people we train with when we expose our soft underbelly. When this happens and we find encouragement it can result in an amazing sense of acceptance and a remoulding of our inner negativity to a more positive place. It may not happen in one workout, but over time we are slowly reconditioned to believe we are good enough, we do deserve this, we are worthy. I believe this to underpin the very heart of crossfit and the way it can be empowering and uplifting, despite being at times seemingly insurmountable. It is one of the reasons I truly love it more than anything I’ve ever done.
There are other things I love about the winter mornings. I love the quiet of the early morning, dark, peaceful, solitude. Alone with my thoughts as I have my short black, put on my training garb and head out to the box before the sun has risen. No fighting with traffic on the road, it’s a relaxed drive in. Huddled crossfitters, rubbing their hands together, some with their hoods up, quietly chatting together at the start of the day, waiting to see what the WOD has in store for us that day. Nothing makes me feel more alive than my heart pounding in my chest and my lungs bursting for their next breath. After a morning WOD I feel warm, energised and ready to face the day. Yes, there are some mornings I battle with the early start, but knowing how fabulous I’ll feel after gets me out of bed every time. At the end of the day after work I can come home and relax with my family without feeling like I have missed out on my personal time or family time. Feeling energised, positive and balanced, I thank myself for getting out of bed before the crack of dawn and I thank my fabulous crossfit Adelaide morning crew for making it such a fabulous part of my life. 🙂
Some of the usual culprits. Those of you missing (including me!!) are there in spirit. 🙂
Everyone has a story of the journey in their lives that got them to this point in time. We often make alot of assumptions about those around us, judging a book by its cover, so to speak. I train with a lot of lean, amazing looking chicks. I have often thought how easy it is for them, with their inbuilt love of healthy clean eating, Not having to fight the daily battles with food like I do. There might be one or two others that battle their food demons and understand, but the others would never get it. Then I had a conversation with one of these girls after we had struggled through a particularly difficult WOD together. She is beautiful with a to die for figure and beautiful personality to boot. I’ll admit to you (here in confidence) I’ve often envied her shape and wished I could look as amazing. Much to my surprise, she told me she used to weigh 30 kg more than she does now. It really made me think, I had just assumed she was naturally buff and that it required little effort. I had just assumed she would never understand how hard it can be for someone like me. Hell, how wrong was I making all these assumptions! She might not look like me on the outside, but she understands what it’s like to be in my shoes. She still carries many of the doubts of the big girl she used to be. She has worked hard and still works hard to have her amazing body and glow of health.
What we look like on the outside is one thing, but more important is how we look on the inside. Some days, I am an elite crossfitter. It’s true! In my mind, I am buff, strong and unstoppable. On those days watch me roar! On some days I think I am an overweight, weak, unfit, give up before I start type of girl. On those days watch me fail. It is all about my self belief. It is all about having faith. I really learnt this doing the crossfit open workouts this year. I entered the open feeling immense doubt about whether I was good enough, intensely worried I would be humiliating myself 5 weeks consecutively. I was so anxious before the first workout you would think I was trying to qualify for the regionals! Well, I managed to lift weights I had never done before, push myself harder than I ever thought I could go, and surpass all sorts of self imposed limits I had placed on myself. I impressed even myself and I’m the hardest person of all to impress. Even on the last 2 workouts which contained movements I couldn’t do, I spent several minutes, futilely attempting said movements, supported by my training crew so positively, that it could be nothing but a positive experience.
And in the end, isn’t that what it’s all about? A positive experience? Feeling better about yourself? Feeling happier in your life?
And that has been one of my greatest discoveries in this life…Positive thinking, that’s the secret source of power of all superheroes. (Let’s face it, it takes a lot of self confidence and inner positivity to fight crime dressed like this on a regular basis!) 🙂
I am really have a tough time of it at training at the moment. My body has not yet adjusted to this new approach to eating and I am still trying to work it all out. I feel as if I’ve gone from finally making some progress, to way back to where I started. It is pretty demoralising. 😦
This morning we did a monthly milestone workout. It was that delightful 13.5 open workout of 15 thrusters, 15 chest to bar pull-ups repeat by 3, scale as required. In my case that’s 25kg thrusters and pull-ups on the band, but even scaled it was disaster! I kept stopping, felt it was all too hard, had a panic attack (seriously not kidding) and nearly started bawling before the final lot of pull-ups! The only saving grace was the mantra in my head “I will NOT cry at crossfit!” At the end I finished miles behind my training buddies and felt the pits. I have finished last plenty of times and felt proud that I had made it through a tough work out, so why was today different? I really felt like I gave up in that workout this morning and did not give my best. Sure it was hard, sure I am not at my peak energy levels, but it was ultimately a problem in my thinking that undid my physical performance. I had given up before I’d even started. I feel shame for my effort not pride.
So what is the moral to this sad tale of woe I write for you? It is not how I compete against anyone else that really matters. In the end my feelings of pride come from giving my best, knowing in my core that I gave it all, kept on pushing, didn’t give up. Even if I finish last, if I’ve left nothing in the tank, who can ask for more!